I hit a big milestone this past week: I finished the absolute, definitive, final draft of my first novel.
The accomplishment stirs a maelstrom of emotions; relief to be done the thing, enthusiasm to get it represented and sold, excitement to move onto the next project, and a little bit of sadness at the notion of being finished with characters and settings I've spent so much time immersed in. Anyone who's been in a stage production will know the feeling - that postpartum melancholy that settles over you after the final performance. It's like that, except with imaginary castmates.
A number of priorities now vie for my attention.
The most intimidating task ahead of me is to get someone to represent my novel, which, as I understand it, is a huge undertaking.
Like many writers, I despise writing summaries, treatments, proposals, pitches, etc for my own work. Maybe it's the act of reducing so much work into a few paragraphs. Or perhaps it's the anxiety of choosing the right parts to talk about. Or maybe it has to do with how sales-oriented the process seems.
The writer rarely thinks of themselves as a commodity but that is essentially what one must become, a role one must embrace, if one wishes to be a tantalizing prospect for the right agent. I'm reminded of bizarre mating rituals seen on any number of BBC nature documentaries; fluff the feathers, dance to the side, screech like a banshee, flick a leaf over the shoulder, turn in a circle, gaze longingly without making direct eye contact. All to the dulcet tones of Sir David Attenborough's narration.
My other objectives are much more scintillating.
I've been "cooking" a new novel idea for the last couple of months. Like a good stew, I've been letting it simmer. I tasted it every so often, gave it a stir, added some spices. But I have refused to let myself type a single word of it until now, mainly so I could focus on rewrites of the current novel.
I'm so excited for this new idea, it will be rewarding just to start putting words on the page. Rest assured my feelings towards it will go up and down with the frequency, and intensity, of a roller coaster as I write.
Then there's the screenwriting part of my writer life. I've been taking a bit of a break from screenplays for the past couple of months so I could hone in on the novel. Now I'm excited to be able to spend some of my writing time polishing up a screenplay I'm hoping to sell or get made. It was a semi-finalist in the Screencraft Horror Screenplay Contest, which I hope will serve as a selling point for any interested parties.
I've also got a new project in the works, something I'm keeping under my hat for the time being but that I hope will be fruitful (and that you all will have the opportunity to see).
It's a lot of work and a lot to balance, sure. Writing can be exhausting work, just like any endeavour that someone puts their energy and dedication to. I'm confident Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson will tell you his body hurts like hell after every workout but that there is joy to be taken in the pain. The result, his Olympian physique, is a reward to be sure. But he must love what he's doing to work so intensely at it, otherwise he wouldn't be the smiling, encouraging persona we see all over our Instagram feeds. That goes without even mentioning his acting career. Even if he wasn't as successful as he is, I have a feeling he would be working just as hard. Anyone can tell that man loves what he does.
Part of the joy of pursuing a passion comes from the continued promise of pursuit. The joy is in the hunt / chase / ride / journey, as they say.
Sure, I absolutely want to be a "successful" writer. My idea of success, to be candid, is to be able to support my family with my writing.
That doesn't mean I'll quit writing if and when I get to that point. Nor does it mean I'll quit writing if I never make it there. What keeps me going is the creation itself. I've been doing it, up until recently, solely for my own enjoyment since I was old enough to string words together on paper. That alone speaks to my passion for the craft. I'm helpless to give it up.
So, while I push my novel to every viable literary whose email I can obtain, I'll be grinding away at the next story, in whatever form it takes. I'll keep pushing my work out into the world, in hopes it can provide a living for my family and I.
If not, I'll always have the joy that comes with storytelling.